It has been a busy few weeks, mostly filled with my day job, which has been stretching into my weekends. This past weekend was the first weekend that I’ve had all month that I have been been doing something for work or preparing to do something for work, and I have been passing it slowly, in the laziest way I know how.
This is to say that I have been writing, or at least, editing writing that I’ve done previously. I have a project in the works that has forced me to confront my portfolio of short stories. I have found them pretty lacking, even the stories that won me a reasonable acclaim and some actual money in college, so I’ve been rewriting large swathes of them. I can see mistakes that were made, places where I cringe at the crudeness of the writing. And so, rather than work on something new, I find myself reworking stories that have already been reviewed and edited to death. And yet, coming up with something different, something that is, I hope, better.
It does beggar an obvious question. When is good good enough? How do you know when your work is good enough to share with the world?
I read a blog post this weekend that has filled me with some new inspiration. I wish I hadn’t lost the link. It was written by a woman who has written a few novels and has absolutely no intention of quitting her day job. I’ve often felt a certain inability to move forward with my writing because I fear the effect it will have on my career, which is important to me, even for non-financial reasons. Any success with my writing seems like something that could only interfere, because my day job is competitive and unrelated. I’m already one of the only women I know in my field, so I think that I sometimes get hypersensitive to doing things that make me stand out in a bad way or suggest that my whole life is not focused on pursuing technology. But as I read this blog post, I realized that maybe it’s not such a disadvantage that I have both sides to me, that perhaps this could even be a benefit. I have often felt the two sides of me were at odds, with my writing credentials undercutting my tech credentials and vice versa (weirdly, my CCNP did not impress NYU’s English department), but maybe there’s more benefit there than I ever realized.
All things to think more about, while I keep writing.