I have had the flu. But since I am such an amazing overachiever, yesterday I actually fainted as a result of it. Not only did I faint, I managed to faint into my bathtub, knocking my shower curtain right off the wall and on top of me.
Fortunately, fainting being what fainting is, I have no memory of this or of getting out of the tub. I do remember waking up and thinking, “ahhh, finally, I’m the right temperature!” because the wet shower curtain was cooling my fevered skin down. The next thought was something like, “hunh, I’m fully dressed and in my bathtub. That’s odd.”
I have quite a lot of bruises now. Some of them are large and impressive, while others (like the one on my head and my elbow) are just annoying. I wish I had managed to bruise just one side of my body, but alas, the only possible position to lie down in without triggering pain from one of them is on my back. This would be less of a problem if it weren’t for my cat, who feels that this is an invitation for colonization, which cuts off my breathing, which isn’t so great right now (see: flu).
So while I am still very impressed at the overachieveryness of my fainting, it is becoming progressively less cool as time passes and my bruises become more painful.
All the same, my fever is finally broken and I am on the mend, which is a huge relief. I am not a good patient.